I'm Only Me When I'm With You
by His1Princess
Summary: Ruby goes on tour with David, and when she comes back, she's got more than one secret to tell. Not only is she not related to anyone, but she's got a ring. Will Jordan ever get his chance? What's Ben's damage? And how is everyone else adjusting? Find out!
1. Chapter 1

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Chapter 1

"JORDAN!!" I screeched after entering the door of the house I hadn't been in over three months.

"RUBY!" He screamed, picking me up on sight and spinning me around.

"I've missed you!" I smiled, soaking in the smell of him.

"Me too." He answered, plopping me back down on the floor.

"Oh, Benny!" I said, suddenly shocked by the newly made teen that was standing in front of me.

"You missed my party. Congrats, now you're just like your dad." He answered, running up the stairs and slamming the door to his room.

"He's been getting moodier lately." Jordan shrugged out, before plopping down on the couch to resume watching television.

"I assume that's what most teen's do. Not that either of us would remember." I joked out, falling into the chair beside the couch to see what Jordan was watching.

"Oh, of course not." Jordan answered smiling, "so how was tour?"

"Good. But…we have to change the name…" I answered, looking down at my folded fingers, wondering how I break the news to the people that had taken me in, no questions asked.

"What do you mean? I think the 'Rockit Father Daughter' tour was a great idea!" Jordan answered, looking at me weird.

"I'm not David's daughter. My grandparents found me backstage after one of the shows, and asked me what the hell the father daughter crap was about. Apparently, my fathers some accountant in Chicago." I whispered, staring hard into the ground, refusing to allow Jordan to see how much this hurt me.

"WHAT?" He asked, sitting straight up.

"Do I really need to repeat that sentence?" I asked, looking up to meet his eyes.

"No, of course…but…I just can't believe it." He answered, looking shocked and kept blinking his eyes.

"Yep. David's pretty pissed. That's why I'm back early…I guess I'm just gonna pack up and go back to live with my grandparents until I'm finished with college." I answered, standing up and heading toward the stairs when suddenly Jordan was standing straight up, and grabbing me.

"You can't leave." He replied, looking me dead in the eyes, giving me chills.

"Why not? I'm not part of this family." I answered, feeling the tears prick at my eyes.

"Maybe not by blood, but you mean so much to everyone in this house. To my father, you are the good, not annoying, and not completely strange child he never had. My mother loves you because she finally had another girl. Ben, well, Ben loves anyone that brings chaos into the house…and me…I just…I just plain love you." He stated, looking firmly into my eyes, and somehow, I knew exactly what and in which way he meant.

"Jordan…" I began

"I know. You've only thought of me as a cousin up until this time, but the entire time you've lived here, I've been in love with you. I can't let you leave now that I finally know we aren't related. You have to give me a chance. I can't let this chance go back." He replied, his eyes pleading with me.

"Jordan…I can't stay here." I answered, knowing deep inside that I really couldn't.

"Ruby! Are you really saying that if you were in love with someone, and if suddenly you had a chance to be with them, you wouldn't want to try and take the chance?" He asked, looking deep into me.

"Jordan…I'm married. I can not stay here with someone that is in love with me. I'm so sorry." I answered before fleeing up the stairs, my eyes burning with uncried tears.

Three hours later, I heard the soft knocking of Ben on my door.

"Come in." I muttered.

"I heard what happened." He stated, holding up some cookie dough and Ben and Jerry's Cinnamon Bun ice cream.

"You're the best, no longer my cousin anymore, cousin." I smiled up at him, taking the ice cream from him and peeling it open.

"So, how's the guy that gave the ring?" Ben asked, popping some cookie dough in his mouth as he sat down on my bed.

"Joe." I answered, smiling, and yet suddenly unable to picture his face.

"What's he like?" Ben asked, getting up to look at the things in my room.

"Wonderful, a gentleman, sweet, kind. Brown hair, green eyes, Italian. Why are you looking at my things like you've never seen them?" I asked, poking Ben when he came within my reach.

"Oh, no one's been allowed in here. He sounds like a real gem." Ben smiled, taking another piece of cookie dough and turning to look at my movies.

"Why not?" I asked, suddenly preoccupied more with why no one was allowed in my room than my impending marriage.

"Mom said so. You know, I should hate you, right?" He asked, glancing back at me.

"What? Why?" I asked, suddenly taken aback.

"Because, you broke my brothers heart." Ben stated simply before walking out the door and making me cry once again.

XXXX

"So you're attempt to 'make Ruby feel better', just made her cry more." Jordan glumly stated when I entered his room minutes after exiting Ruby's.

"Yeah, well. I tried. At least now she has comfort food." I answered, plopping down at Jordan's computer chair.

"I didn't want to make her cry, you dufus." Jordan answered, pushing me with his foot.

"Well, neither did I. But she made me mad." I answered, glaring at him, before pushing his stinky feet off of me.

"Why would she make you mad? You have no feelings in this situation." He replied, prodding me with his foot.

"She's my ex-cousin, and you're my brother, and you're telling me I have no feelings in this? You're an idiot. In fact, you've finally topped your idiocy." I answered, getting out of his chiar and slamming the door behind me.

"Damn mood swings, it's like he's pmsing all the time." Jordan muttered once I exited the door, making me want to punch his stupid little blonde head.

XXXX

"Mom, you need to talk to Ruby, and Jordan. Fix everything, because I can't." Ben said to me at around seven o'clock.

"Ben, honey, Ruby's on tour." I smiled ruffling his hair.

"Uhm, no she's not. She's here, and engaged, oh yeah, and she's not my cousin." He answered, before walking out of the room.

"RUBY! JORDAN! OUT NOW!" I yelled a few minutes later, after shaking off my shock and finally understanding what Ben had said.

"What, mom?" Jordan asked, sticking his head out of his door, even as I knocked on his door.

"You come with me." I stated, pointing a finger at them both and pointing downstairs.

"I'm not going anywhere near her." Jordan stated before shutting his door again, and making tears appear in Ruby's eyes.

"Oh, honey…it's okay." I said as I reached out for her, but instead of allowing me in like usual, she shut the door, making me suddenly feel obsolete.


	2. Ben's Secret?

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Chapter 2

"Ruby? Honey, let me in. Please?" I could hear 'Aunt' Audie pleading through the doorway, and suddenly felt horrible.

"Just leave me alone, please. I'm packing up, I'll be out of here soon. Before school starts up again, even." I sighed out, throwing more clothes into my large suitcase.

"Ruby, no one wants you to leave!" Audie whisper yelled out, banging on the door to emphasize her statement.

"What?" I screeched, finally flinging the door open.

"Ruby, we all know that you and Jordan are in this 'thing' at the moment, but…that doesn't mean we want you to leave. You've become an essential part of our family, even if you never really were blood." Audie whispered, letting a few tears slid down her cheeks.

"Oh, Audie, don't cry." I said, reaching out to hug her.

"Ruby, just promise that you won't leave." She whispered, holding me close.

"Oh, Aunt Audie, I have to go. I'm engaged, remember?" I asked, pulling away and flashing my hand in front of her face.

"Honey…how much time did you actually spend with this Joe guy?" She asked, looking deep into my eyes, probably hoping to probe around in my brain.

"I don't know…a week or so…but we were spending all our time together…other than when I was singing on stage…but I mean…" I began, trying to take all my scrambled thoughts out.

"Ruby… do you even hear yourself?" Audie asked, looking at me concerned.

"Well…yes, I know I'm rambling but…"

"Ruby, I think you should get to know this Joe person better. He might not be all that he seems to be…and while you date him, you can stay here. That way you save up money, and you can still go to the college, and…everything will just be fine." Audie muttered, stumbling over her words.

"Audie…I can't stay here! Jordan doesn't want me to be here…I should just go." I answered, looking to the ground.

"Jordan's just hurt, Ruby, I mean can you blame him? He's loved you for years, and then when he finds out that there's a chance you two could be together, he also finds out you're engaged. He'll get over it, if you stay. If you don't…it'll just fester inside him, until it overtakes him."

"I can't…"

"Just think about it." Aunt Audie said before shutting my door and walking down the hall.

I sat on the floor and thought over everything I'd just been told, and suddenly I knew my answer. And I knew that all along it had been inside of me. I pulled all my clothes out, and flung them back into their drawers before leaving the room and going down the hall to Ben's room.

XOXOXOXO

"So do you feel any better, man?" Henry asked from beside me.

"Not really, I feel kind of…funny." I answered, lifting my hand up to look closer at it.

"Man, I got the munchies from hell." Marty, Henry's brother, said, grabbing the bag of Cheetos from beside him.

"What was that stuff, again?" I asked, picking up the little baggie that had had the green stuff that we'd rolled into the paper.

"Weed, man, it's the shit." Henry answered, grinning at me.

"Wait…" I said as reality finally kicked in, "isn't weed illegal?"

"Geeze, you sure are slow to catch on." Marty answered between mouthfuls of Cheetos and gummy worms.

"I could go to jail for this…" I murmured to myself, the high, happy feeling I'd had moments before disappearing almost as quickly as it had come.

"Well, duh. That's half the fun." A blonde girl winked at me form across the table we were sitting at.

"No…this…this is not good." I answered, staggering to my feet.

"Of course it is. You wanted to be cheered up after you found out that cousin of yours was engaged and now you're cheered up." Henry smiled, before leaning in to kiss the blonde girl that had spoken seconds ago.

"This isn't what I meant!" I screamed at him, making everyone at the table jump.

"What the hell, man?" Marty asked, glaring at me for ruining the vibe.

I simply ignored everyone and started off through the woods that were behind my house. I stumbled, staggered and fell all the way to the bridge that Ben and I used to hang out at all the time when we were little. I sat down on it then, to tired to move, or journey through the rest of the woods. I lay down, my face looking down at the river that gushed past, and suddenly felt and overwhelming sense of loss.

Ben and I had gotten more than far apart, my parents had begun to fight more, with each other and with David, apparently all my friends were druggies, and that just wasn't me, and then, there was Ruby. Wonderful, caring, beautiful Ruby, who was no longer my cousin. But who was getting married to some guy named Joe that she met on tour. Some guy no one expect maybe David had ever met, someone who would probably never care for her as much as I did.

That's when I finally allowed the tears I'd been holding in since Ruby came back, to fall down.

XOXOXOXO

"Ruby, what do you want?" I asked when my door suddenly burst open.

"I need to get him back." She replied, flopping down beside me on my bed.

"Get who back?" I asked, scrunching my forehead, confused as I sat up to look at her.

"Jordan." She replied, looking right into my eyes.

"Get him back how?" I asked, confused again.

"He's one of the best friends I've ever had, and sure, maybe he's been in love with me since he met me, but that's okay, he's still the best." She answered, returning her gaze back to the ceiling.

"Ruby, I don't think that's such a good idea." I answered.

"Why not?!" She asked, angry.

"Ruby, he loves you! Being friends with you, id just gonna hurt him more." I answered, making her mad.

"So you're basically telling me, that either I be in love with him, or he's out of my life?! This is crazy!" She yelled, jumping up and slamming the door behind her.

"Everyone in this house is crazy." I mumbled to myself, before flicking my laptop back on and signing onto my IM.

**GeorgiaPeach: So did u talk 2 the love birds?**

**BennyBoy: tried. Every1 is crazy, need to grow up.**

**GeorgiaPeach: So…you still haven't told them…have u?**

**BennyBoy: No, everything is crazy…complete Chaos. I swear, I'll tell soon as everything has calmed down. **

**GeorgiaPeach: Ben! We've been together since B4 Ruby left! U can't keep hiding this 4rm ur family. They love u. they deserve 2 kno.**

**BennyBoy: I kno. Got 2 go. Ttyt, luv u Gee. **

**GeorgiaPeach: You too, Bee. **

-BennyBoy has signed off.

God, I'm so glad my family doesn't know about my big love affair, they'd strangle it the same way they have Ruby and Jordan's.


	3. Friends, Really?

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Chapter 3

"Jordan, come on, open the door. You're not mad at me." I pleaded through the door, wishing that I could get off the hard floor and go back to bed.

After thirty more minutes of pleading, I broke into his room…which was completely empty. The bed un-slept in, the sheets not turned down, and the clothes all cleaned up.

"What the hell happened in here?" I muttered to myself, looking to see if Jordan might've left a clue to where he was.

I walked over to the computer and moved around the mouse, instantly lighting up the screen, and showing Jordan's last IM conversation.

**ThisIsMe: So, you really bummed about that chick?**

**BigTime101: She's not just 'some chick'. She's Ruby. **

**ThisIsMe: Isn't that your cousin?**

**BigTime101: Not anymore. **

**ThisIsMe: So basically, she lied to your entire family for years…and your bummed that she's engaged. That's wack, man. **

**BigTime101: Dude, she didn't intentionally lie. Besides…she's Ruby. **

**ThisIsMe: What the hell? You gotta get over this, wanna meet in the park outside the forest?**

**BigTime101: For what?**

**ThisIsMe: For some cheering up. **

**BigTime101: Nah, I'll just stay here. **

**ThisIsMe: No, you're coming. Meet you there in five.**

-ThisIsMe has signed off-

He went to the park? Doesn't he know what teenagers do in the middle of night at the park? They fuck, and do drugs. God, he's an idiot, I thought to myself as I walked back out of his room and left the house, and headed for the woods. After ten minutes I passed the bridge Jordan and I used to hang out at when we were littler, and I saw a little lump moving.

"Jordan?" I asked, moving toward the big lump.

He instantly jumped up, looking at me wild eyed and crazy, "What're you doing here?"

"I came to get you before anyone else notices your gone." I answered, plopping down beside him on the hard, worn wood.

"How'd you know where I was?" He asked, messing with his hair and sitting up.

"I looked around in your room. Figured I might as well save you from your own demise. If mom and dad every figured out what you did last night-"

"I know, Ben, they'd kill me. At first I didn't know what was going on, and by the time I did…I was completely stoned. I tried to get back home, but this was as far as I could get." He answered, looking at the ground with sad eyes, obviously, he knew he'd done a screwed up thing last night.

"Well, it's okay. I won't tell anyone." I answered, looking down at the rushing river.

"God, I feel so stupid. Do you remember when we used to hang out here, and play Indians and Cowboys and Cops and Criminals?" He asked suddenly, looking at me slightly as if he thought I might've actually forgotten the good times.

"Of course I remember. Those were the good times." I answered, laying my head back on the bridge to face the warm sun.

"Yeah. You used to be so easy to talk to. Much less moody." He replied, turning to stare at all the tree's that were overhead of us.

"whatever." I replied, not wishing to talk about my 'moods' right now.

"You remember when you broke your arm?" He asked, laughing a little.

"You mean when you pushed me down the stairs?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Well, yeah." He answered, suddenly dissolving into laughter.

"We should probably go home before someone else wakes up." I replied suddenly, not really wanting to talk about the memories Jordan had of the two of us.

"Oh, yeah…of course." He answered, getting up, and walking back towards the house, me trailing just slightly after him.

"You know, you smell so gross." I said after walking behind him for a few minutes.

"Weed does that." He answered nonchalantly as we exited the tree's.

"Jordan? Ben? What're you guys doing out here? Are you okay?" Ruby asked suddenly running from the house.

"We're a-okay." I replied, as a sour and hurt look crossed over Jordan's face.

"I was just coming out to find you. I read Jordan's IM's. Are you an idiot?" She asked, glancing darkly at him.

"No." He answered, before shoving past her and walking into the house.

"God. When am I going to stop getting the cold treatment?" She asked, her face falling a little as he slammed the door.

"When you give him a chance." I answered, before walking past him.

"I can't do that though, Ben, don't you understand that?" She asked, her eyes pleading with me.

"No, I cant. I don't see why you can't give the boy who sat by and waited for you for years. The guy that loved you the moment he saw you, and still became friends with you. The guy, who helped with every crazy scheme you've come up with since you moved here. Your best friend. I don't see why you can't just get over yourself and give the person that will always love you best, a chance." I yelled, before running into the house, suddenly extremely pissed at Ruby.

"You don't have to stick up for me, you know." Jordan said suddenly pushing himself off the wall where he'd been standing with one foot against it.

"Yes, I do. You're my brother." I answered, blowing past him, not wanting to talk to him either.

XOXOXOXO

I sat in the cool grass, Ripping strands out by their roots, unable to cry, yet unable to move either. Jordan and Ben were both pissed at me, and I had no idea how to fix either problem, and yet, Audie wanted me to stay? I couldn't do that.

"I didn't ask Ben to do that." A deep voice stated from just above me.

"Sure you didn't." I replied, looking into Jordan's face for a moment before blushing and looking away, was I supposed to feel like this.

"Actually, I've decided, I'm going to go out with Chelsea. So we're fine." He stated, flipping out a h and to help me off the ground.

"Chelsea? Chelsea Stock?" I asked, surprised by his choice of girlfriends.

"Yup. She asked me out last night while I was gone…and I just told her I would. So…we're all good Rubs. Don't worry about it anymore. We can just be friends." He answered, before walking off toward the house.

Suddenly, my legs felt wobbly again, I fell back onto the ground as Jordan walked back into the house. I couldn't even whisper, what was happening to me? You're not supposed to feel like this when the guy who had been your cousin only days ago tells you he got a girlfriend. And you defiantly weren't supposed to like the image of you ripping her hair out…I was…I was…falling…for…Jordan. Oh, dear sweet baby Jesus.

XOXOXOXO

"David! She may not be an actual part of our family, but you know, deep inside that twisted little heart of yours, that you love her." I screamed at my brother, trying to yell some sense into him.

"She lied, Patrick. She lied to all of us, for years. That is inexcusable in my book." David answered, before trying to clean up his backstage room a little.

"What are you doing?" I asked suddenly aware that most of this space was empty instead of the usual mess that it was.

"Tonight's my last show." He answered, before seating himself on the chair in front of the mirror.

"Where'll you go?" I asked, worried about my brothers safekeeping for once in my life.

"To the sister casino. In New York." He replied, refusing to look anywhere near me.

"When did you decide this?" I asked, suddenly angry because I already had an idea why and when he'd decided this.

"When I got back. I talked to the managers and arranged everything. I'll be out of your hair, and you won't have to worry about me anymore, big brother." He replied, pulling a jacket on over his shirt and heading for the door.

"You can not just leave Ruby!" I yelled, pushing him up to the door, facing me.

"Yes! I can! She's not my child!" He answered, pushing my arm away and stomping out the door.

And that's when it hit me, the sadness that he felt. For the past few years, he'd thought he had a child, and now that dream was taken away from him. Savagely, horribly, and quickly.

XOXOXOXO

"Ruby? Honey? There's someone on the phone for you." Audie said around noon, when I was still sitting in the grass.

"Oh, thanks." I replied, taking the phone from her hand, "hello?"

"Oh, Ruby, darling. You have no idea how effort it took to find this number!" A voice replied from the other end enthusiastically.

"Joe?" I asked uncertainly.

"Oh, yes." He answered, I could just picture him smiling, "we've got to talk."

"Okay." I replied, more than a little confused.

"We are you going to come out here?"

"Well…actually…I was thinking of staying here until I got enough money…and I was done with college…you know…save up for some stuff." I answered, trying to explain to Joe what Audie had explained to me.

"WHAT?" He exploded, "Don't you want to marry me?"

"Of course…but…"

"No…if you don't come out this week…I don't want to marry you." He propositioned.

"I can't do that." I replied, already feeling the tears coming.

"Then it's off, goodbye Ruby." He replied, leaving me to huddle in the cool grass, crying.


	4. Benny? Love? Really?

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Chapter 4

"Rub. You're fine without him." Audie started the same pep talk she'd been giving me for the past two weeks, always the same words, never any difference, and never any meaning to them. At least not for me.

Leaving to be with Joe had seemed a little crazy at the beginning but once I thought of his dark hair, green eyes and deep olive tan, I'd just swoon even faster and harder. He was so different than everyone around here, with there light tans, blonde hair and blue eyes, I felt like every guy in high school had been a clone of the same people. He listened to me rant about bad shows, and sent me little chocolates and trinkets while I was on the road, sure we hadn't known each other long, but how long does it take for you to realize that you love someone?

"Mom, let me talk to her." Ben stated, slightly nervous from my doorway, I hadn't talked to him since the day he'd yelled at me, and Joe had called, and called off the engagement.

"Okay." Audie whispered, lightly and swiftly slipping out the door.

"Look, Ruby. What the hell does this guy have that's so majorly important?" Ben asked, quite snottily.

"Ben, you don't understand." I stated, quickly turning to my other side, realizing that I was going to get absolutely no sympathy from him.

"Sure, I don't know what it's like to have the person I think I love call off an engagement to me, but I know what it's like to be in love. And even that's not worth laying in bed for WEEKS! I've never not seen you smile at least once a day, and then this guy dumps you, and you can't get out of bed? What makes him that special? Huh?" Ben asked, flipping me back around to face him in one swift movement, and flaring his nostrils throughout the whole speech.

"He's…different. He's unlike anyone I've ever met." I whispered into my comforter, refusing to look into his eyes, scared of what I might realize if I did.

"Look, Ruby, you're a happy person. You aren't the kind of girl that mopes around for a guy. You've never been like that, don't change yourself for someone you knew for a few weeks. He doesn't deserve. You were amazing just the way you were." Ben replied, clearly not wanting to insult Joe, but trying to tell me that he was just not worth anymore of my time.

"Oh, you're not starting to fall for me too, are you?" I smiled out, trying to get a laugh out of the boy.

"You know it." He winked, before getting up and heading for the door.

"What'd you mean you know what it's like to be in love, Benny?" I asked, just as he reached the doorknob.

"You'll find out tonight. If you come down for the family meeting." He replied, smiling and opening the door.

"I'm still family?" I asked as he slipped out, knowing the answer deep inside of me.

_I'd never been anything but. _

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"So, are you really going to tell them tonight?" A heavenly voice asked from the other end of the telephone.

"Of course, it's been a few months, and well, there bound to find out somehow. Why not just tell them myself? And I know, you've been telling me that all along." I sighed out, slightly frustrated that Georgia kept asking me that same question like it was a miracle.

"I'm sorry. I'll stop asking. I'm just so excited. I mean, it's been cool and all that it was a secret from your parents, but always having to be your 'buddy' when you wanted to come over and stuff, it got kind of annoying. And I could never call your house, either. In case someone else picked up. I'm just so excited that none of that's gonna apply anymore!" Georgia squealed out, and I could practically imagine the grin on her face.

"I know. It's gonna be pretty sick." I replied, leaning back against my headboard and picturing how much more Georgia and me could hang out now.

"BEN! You called this family meeting didn't you?" Jordan yelled up from the living room which was practically right below my bedroom.

"Crap, is it seven already?" I asked, butterflies filling up my stomach suddenly, at the thought of actually telling my parents and Jordan about Georgia.

"Don't worry. They'll be happy for you. They're your family after all. Call me afterwards. I wanna know what happens." Georgia said all of this in one breath before blowing a singular kiss into the phone and hanging up.

I swiftly got up and placed the phone back on it's charger and trudged downstairs. When I got there, everyone was sitting down and my parents were laughing while Ruby was feigning a smile and cuddled up in a blanket and Jordan strummed his guitar looking down absently at it, probably trying to find something to rhyme with 'purple'.

"Hey, everybody." I stuttered out trying to get their attention.

"Finally." Jordan muttered, placing his guitar back in it's case and sliding it beneath the ottoman in front of him, while Ruby smiled at me, obviously remembering our earlier conversation.

"Look, these past few months…I've…I've kind of had a girlfriend." I mumbled out, not wanting this to be the center of anything.

"haha, little dude, you're funny." Jordan stated, getting up, ruffling my hair and heading towards the door to leave.

"First off, I'm not a little dude, and second, sit back down. I'm being serious." I stated, grabbing Jordan's wrist and pulling and then pushing him back toward the chair he'd been seated in a few moments ago.

"What's her name?" Ruby offered up quietly and politely.

"Georgia Anne." I answered, smiling at her. She was the only one in this room that felt my pain at Jordan saying that sentence to me,

"Ah, that's a cute name. What's she look like honey?" My mom asked next, smiling and putting her arm around Ruby.

"She's got the reddest hair I've ever seen, and skin that's so pale it shines, and her face and arms and legs are covered with these cute little light brown freckles." I answered smiling at the both of them.

"What I want to know," My dad finally spoke up, "is why you never told us about her before."

"I've seen the way you guys have dissected each and everyone of Ruby and Jordan's past boyfriends and girlfriends. And I didn't want you to do anything like that to Georgia, so rather than have her criticized, I hid her from you all." I answered, looking down.

"I still don't believe she exists." Jordan mumbled receiving an elbow in the rib from our dad.

"How about we have her over for a dinner one night? Thursday sound okay? Good." My mother asked and then answered her own questions.

_**These were the very words, that began a war in the house we all live in. **_


	5. What the punch!

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Chapter 5

"So, tonight's the big night, Benny. You excited?" Ruby asked, walking into my room on Thursday night.

"No. I'm more nervous than anything. Someone's gonna make a fool out of this whole thing." I muttered, glaring down the hall slightly before returning to the buttons on my shirt.

"I'm sure he won't be as embarrassing as you think." She said, smiling at me.

"That's what you think. You've never seen him around my friends before." I answered, groaning and plopping myself down onto my bed.

"Don't worry about it so much. If this girl is half as special as you've made her seem, then she won't be scared off just because you have a big jerk for a brother." Ruby said, pulling me back up and buttoning the last button on my shirt.

"Yeah, I know. But-"

"No buts'. Get down there, and get excited for tonight" She said, pushing me out then door and laughing lightly.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

As soon as Ben left the room, Jordan walked past. My breath stopped when he turned and looked at me. His blonde hair was perfectly mussed, and his blue eyes were complimented excellently by the blue polo he was wearing. He looked like a blonde, blue eyed God.

"What're you doing in the kid's room?" He asked, looking at me suspiciously.

"I was giving him a pep talk. You know he's really worried about tonight." I replied, looking away from him.

"Yeah, well, I was nervous when mom and dad met my first girl friend too. He'll get over it." Jordan replied, beginning to walk away.

"He's not worried about your mom and dad. He's worried about you!" I exclaimed, shocked by his nonchalance at the event that was happening tonight.

"That's ridiculous. I'm not the worst of the people here." He answered, looking at me purposefully before walking down the hall.

"When are you going to stop this little charade of yours, Jordan? This isn't you! I of all people know that!" I yelled, sticking my head out of the bedroom and yelling at the retreating form of the boy.

I left Ben's room a few minutes after the yelling, and shut his door as I did. When I got to my room, I touched up my make-up, because I'd cried part of my eyeliner off over Jordan. I was just finishing when a knock came at my door.

"Ruby? Georgia's here." I could hear Audie say from the other side of the door.

"Really? Already?" I asked, excited to meet this girl.

"Yes." She replied, opening my door just before I reached it.

"Thank you." I smiled out.

"Don't you just look so nice?" Audie said as we walked down the hallway, and then the stairs.

"Just thought I should make a good impression." I answered, winking at Audie, just as I looked around the room, "Why is Chelsea here?"

"Well, Jordan figured if we were going to meet one of the boy's girlfriends, we should just go ahead and meet them both." Audie answered sadly, looking disappointedly at the girl on Jordan's lap.

Chelsea was fakely blonde, with way too much make-up on. Her dress was low cut and showing off the large implants she'd gotten since I'd been on tour. Whereas on the other side of the room, Ben and his girlfriend, a petite, light skinned redhead girl were sitting holding hands and speaking quietly, the girl looked completely nervous. While you couldn't see any part of Chelsea's face due to it being plastered to Jordan's.

"Hey Benny." I said softly, curling myself into the armchair farthest away from Chelsea and Jordan.

"Hey Ruby, this is Georgia. Georgia, this is perhaps the most normal person in the household, besides me of course." Ben winked at the girl, making her smile as she politely waved hello to me.

"You guys are cute together." I said lightly, looking over at Jordan and Chelsea sadly.

"You like him don't you?"Georgia asked me, looking at me with questioning blue green eyes, when I turned and looked back at the two of them.

"Oh, you mean Jordan? Oh, no he's like a brother to me." I smiled out, nervously, trying to hide my feelings from this very observant little girl.

"They're both in love with each other. Don't let their denying fool you." Ben laughed out, smiling at me.

"You are so in for it when your girl friend leaves." I muttered.

"You wouldn't hurt me if you had to." Ben smiled out once again, before turning back to Georgia and having a whisper conversation with her again.

"Jordan! Stop acting like a pig!" Patrick said, slapping the back of his son's head as he walked in the door.

"Oh, yeah, sorry dad. Everybody, this is Chelsea." Jordan said, suddenly pulling his face away from Chelsea's and pushing her onto the couch beside him.

"Well, hello Chelsea. It's nice to meet you." Audie said, settling down into the armchair beside me, and giving me a careful once over.

"It's great to meet all of you too. I've wanted to get to know you ever since Jordy and I started going out." She said politely, giving Jordan a sickly sweet smile.

"Oh, how long have the two of you been together?" Georgia asked from near me, shocking me with her loud, confident voice.

"A little over a week. How about you and…Ben?" Chelsea asked, hesitating for a moment before saying Ben's name.

"For a little over six months." She answered, saying it meanly, with politeness.

I could tell from the way Chelsea's face fell, that she hadn't been expecting the two children to have been together so long. She looked disappointed and shocked for a moment before lifting her head, with a snotty little look on her face.

"Wow, and this is the first time you're meeting everyone? You really must not mean too much to Benny over there." She said, smirking at the two teens.

"Chelsea!" Jordan exclaimed, shocked at his girlfriends behavior.

"What? I was just saying what I thought." She said innocently, batting her long, fake eyelashes at Jordan.

"Apologize to her. She means a lot to Ben." Jordan said sternly, clenching his jaw tightly.

"I didn't say anything wrong." She said stubbornly, scrunching up her face.

"Get your whore of a girl friend to apologize already Jordan!" Ben yelled from beside me, finally speaking up.

"Did you just honestly insult my girlfriend?" Jordan asked standing up, and clenching his fists.

"Yeah, I did. She looks like a Barbie doll that went through the washing machine one too many times." Ben answered, dropping Georgia's hand and standing up to face his brother.

"Yeah, well at least she doesn't look like a raggedy Ann doll." Jordan replied, smirking and moving closer to Ben's face.

"Jordan! Apologize!" Audie exclaimed from beside me, shocked at her elder son's behavior.

"So it's okay for him ot insult my girl friend, but God forbid I do the same? That's bull shit!" Jordan exclaimed, turning to Audie for one moment before looking back at Ben.

"I didn't insult her at all. I simply said the truth." Ben answered smartly, smirking Jordan's smirk right back at him.

"You're gonna pay for that you little munchkin!" Jordan yelled, as he raised his hand to punch Ben.

Then the most unthinkable thing happened, Ben stopped the punch. He caught Jordan's fist in his hand, and twisted it around. Jordan screamed out in pain, and fell to the ground. Then, Ben turned around, held out his had for Georgia and the two walked out the front door, leaving everyone in the living room in silence.


	6. Goodbye?

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Chapter 6

"I'm gonna kill that little squirt!" Jordan said, while icing down his shoulder.

"Just chill. You insulted his first girlfriend, and in case you didn't notice, he actually cares about his girlfriend." I said, holding his shoulder still.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jordan asked, twisting away from my grasp and turning to face me.

"I mean, why are you with Chelsea?" I asked, turning him back around and lightly placing the ice back on his shoulder.

"Because I like her." He answered simply.

"Why though?" I asked, probing deeper.

"Because…she's pretty." He said, shifting around.

"Name one thing about Chelsea you like that isn't physical." I said, turning him around to make him look me in the eyes.

"Nothing." He said, looking downward.

"That's what I mean by Ben actually cares about his girlfriend." I said softly, before turning to go.

"You know, it's not completely my fault that I'm dating someone I don't care about." He called out, just as I reached the edge of the kitchen.

"What do you mean?" I asked, turning to face him.

"I mean, I cared about this one girl. I loved her from the moment I met her, but see, she won't even give me a chance. So instead, I just dated anyone that would go out with me, which just so happened to be Chelsea." He said, standing up, wincing slightly as his shoulder moved.

"What was that girl supposed to tell everyone? That the guy she'd once thought was her cousin, was also the guy she'd fallen in love with? I don't think so." I answered, turning around, just as Jordan reached me.

"Then that girl should stop worrying about everyone else. She needs to just think about me, and whether or not being with me would make her happy." He said softly, turning me around and pulling me closely.

"I think she's just gotten her answer." I said just before my lips touched Jordan's.

"Ruby? Jordan?" Audie asked just as she walked in, making us scramble away from each other.

"What was going on here?" Patrick asked, looking sharply at the two of us.

"Mom, Dad, it-"Jordan began to explain, his face beet red.

"Up to your rooms. Both of you!" Audie said softly, her eyes low, and her voice threatening.

"What do you think is going to happen?" I asked as we reached the top of the stairs.

"I don't know. But I'm so sorry Ruby." He whispered before hugging me tightly, and disappearing into his room.

XXXX

"What do we do about this?" Patrick asked, his head in his hands and heart shaken.

"Well, I can't say this was much of a surprise. I don't really see what we can do. I mean, we just told Ruby she could stay here, even though she was family, we can't kick her out for kissing Jordan, especially when he's been in love with her for years." Audie said softly, taking Patrick's hand in hers and kissing it lightly.

"So what, we keep them both here and hope they don't do anything wrong? They're teenagers; you know they're going to." Patrick asked, pushing his hands through his hair.

"Well, I don't know what other choice we have." Audie said, walking away from Patrick for a moment.

"Actually, I have an idea." I said, pulling myself off of the stairs and walking into their sight line.

"Ruby, I thought I told you to go to your room." Patrick asked wearily.

"You did, and I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. But see, the thing is, you can't blame Jordan. He didn't do anything wrong, and I don't want him to get in any kind of trouble, so I've decided that I'm gonna leave. I'll say goodbye to Ben when he gets back and I'll leave a note for Jordan, and then I'll be gone. For good." I said softly, pulling my bags out from where I had stashed them beneath my feet on the stairs.

"Are you sure about this, Ruby?" Audie asked, walking over to me.

"I'm positive." I replied, shaking the tears from my eyes.

"Well then, it's settled. Do you need any money or anything?" Patrick asked, rubbing his hands together and already pulling out his wallet.

"No sir. I've already talked to grandparents. They said I could come back, and I have enough money to get back there." I replied, trying to hide my disappointment at having to go back there.

"Oh honey, but don't they forget who you are and that you live there and-" Audie said, her matronly self kicking in.

"Yeah, but it's okay. I'll be fine. Just like I was before I came here." I said smiling sadly, "Can you give this to Jordan tomorrow when he asks where I am? I'll go wait on the front porch for Ben to get here."

"I'm already here, what's going on? What's with the bags?" Ben asked, looking at me with his eyes wide.

"Can I talk to you outside, Benny boy?" I asked, picking up my bags and walking to the front door, Ben trailing behind me.

"What happened?" Ben asked as soon as the door was closed.

"We kissed, and your parents walked in, and I didn't know what they were going to do, and I didn't want Jordan to get in any trouble, so I told them I'd willingly leave." I said sadly, finally letting the tears I'd been holding back out.

"But why?" Ben asked, pulling me down onto the stone steps with him.

"Because, I care too much about him." I answered.

"So you really were in love with him all this time?" Ben asked.

"Of course. You were always right, but I didn't want you to be, so I ignored it." I answered, sobbing more into his shoulder.

"You can't leave then." Ben stated, grabbing my hand and standing up.

"Ben, I need to do this. But I need you to do something too." I said softly.

"What? I'll do anything." Ben said, looking eagerly into my eyes.

"I need you to tell Jordan that my note is complete bullshit, and that I loved him all along, okay?" I asked, grabbing at my things.

"Of course, but what does your note say?" Ben asked lightly.

"Everything your parents want it to say." I replied before hiking my things up on back and walking off.

XXXX

"I can't believe you guys are doing this to him! Do you realize how long he's waited for her? Do you realize how much this is going to hurt him?" I said when I came in from watching Ruby fade off into the darkness.

"Honey, sometimes hurting the people you love is the only way to make things better." My mom said, coming over to me and rubbing my back.

"So not even giving the two of them a chance to be together when they both love each other is for the best?" I asked, glaring from one pair of eyes to the next.

"Honey, you just don't understand." My dad answered, looking at me sadly like I was still an incompetent child.

"You're right; I don't understand how two such normal people could really be such heartless heartbreakers. Your being horrible parents, in case you didn't know." I said, before running up the stairs and into Jordan's room.

"Get the hell out of here." Jordan growled at me, not even turning from his computer to look at me.

"Look, you can hate me all you want to, but I need to tell you something." I said, plopping down on his bed, and hoping I could get this out before mom and dad realized what I was up here to do.

"What?" Jordan asked, spinning around to face me.

"Ruby left. And mom and dad are going to give you a horrible note form her, but nothing in there is true." I said, just as Jordan raised a white envelope.

"You mean this note?" He asked, looking at me solemnly.

"I guess so." I said, "Don't believe anything in there!"

"Too late, Benny. There's nothing you can say to change anything. Just get out." Jordan said, turning back around.

"You know, I never thought of you as a quitter, especially when the thing you're quitting loves you back." I said as I shut the door to Jordan's room.


End file.
